essays – parenting

Can You Dig It?

What is it about boys and digging? Before I had a son, I was a little offended by the stereotypes I saw. Boy’s clothes always had trucks and planes and action figures on them. It seemed that parents were buying into the roles that manufacturers were continuing to force on our society through their offerings. Why couldn’t boys wear clothes with flowers and bright colors? Why was the toy aisle lined with so many different kinds of trucks and machines, most with names like “monster” and “extreme” and touting their action adventures? I was determined to raise a son differently. He would be exposed to both sides of the toy store and allowed to choose on his own what he wanted.

Then my son came along. As far back as I can remember (even before he could talk), he was drawn to trucks and digging. Yes, we offered him choices and still do, but he almost always has grabbed for the construction equipment and pickup trucks. Even when he goes down the Barbie aisle, he makes a beeline for Barbie’s jeep or convertible.

Needless to say, our house is overrun by trucks and construction machines. Eating dinner has been turned into a front loader dumping the peas or rice into the rock crusher, and we have developed an entire library of books on various types of machines. Bob the Builder has become another member of our family, and his cast of characters (or crew) has taken up residence with their own garage. Countless hours are spent at home and at playgrounds digging in the dirt or sand. And our son is not content to just do it himself. We have to join “the crew” on his digs. Can I do it for an hour or two like he can without feeling the tug of other duties? Usually not, but getting lost in the moment with a shovel and bucket has its appeal for small stretches of time.

We also get lost in the moments of watching trucks and construction machines – the bigger the better. Luckily (I guess), there is a lot of construction going on near our house. New buildings, shopping centers and major highways bring in front loaders, bulldozers, dump trucks and cranes of all sorts and sizes. And yes, we know the proper names for all the different vehicles because he corrects us if we’re wrong (remember all those books?). Trips around town sometimes turn into impromptu theatrical events as we find a place to park in front of a construction site just to watch the machines at work. One time we went to the post office, and they were building an office park across the road. We stood for half an hour watching the bulldozer move back and forth and the backhoe digging up the dirt around the site. A woman going into the post office stopped to offer some words of wisdom as we stood there entranced by the action. She said, “Cherish these times. All too soon, boys grow up and want much more expensive toys to entertain themselves.”

And she was right. I picture the day not too far off when my son gets sucked into the consumer machine that pushes PlayStations and elaborate stereo systems. Right now, we can still get away with dollar trucks and free construction performances around town. I know I’ll eventually end up giving into the pressure and the high-end stuff will start creeping into our house as he gets older. So I try to remind myself every day that trucks are okay. And going along with some boy-girl stereotypes is also okay. I may have to draw the line, however, if he asks for a real dump truck when he starts to drive. It’s not the cost – we’ve discovered that a decent used dump truck often costs less than a good car. And it’s not the stereotype – frankly, a dump truck would probably be safer to drive.

No. . .with the parking situation around here, I just don’t think our homeowner’s association would approve.